And another one..

The divine, God or however you address the higher power around us.. Thank you. 

Being my own business is incredibly hard work. The blessing is the community and the will power to continue. 

I’m celebrating big internally today. 

I made a goal at the beginning of the year of what my income should look like. That’s not easy. It’s a lot of debating with myself about self worth. Is it too much, is it too little? In the end I followed the lead of the divine. 

If you remember just two years ago I did this; which is how I made the choice to be full time with my work with color and the work we create together. Prior to this, I always had a part-time job; I never made a goal of what I should expect from my work. I was just happy to share the connection and just cover the base materials. 

Today I will share.

 I honored myself, respected my self worth and I met my first year income goal!

It’s an interesting feeling. In the time of creating the goal, it seemed just out of reach. 

I tried to only focus on the positive of self worth while fighting the mental demons trying to bring me down. It’s been one the hardest struggles in valuing myself and to put a “price” on that.  Especially being a giver. It’s a big part of my love language. 

Working for myself.. 

It looks like, having people not thinking my work is worth it..to me being a goal to their life.. to people telling me I should charge double.. to having no sales at all after all the work and time was spent in creating it. 

From the outside it may look like rainbows and sunshine. However, this is why I stay vulnerable and share posts on how it’s not. I like being private but think it’s important to share the struggle too. I’m sure you’ve seen many posts. Real is real and life can be really fucking hard. 

To the point. As I’ve said many times…I feel like vulnerability is key, fighting fear is the goal and failing is a win. 

The internal struggle, the social anxiety is all real. However, honoring myself by pulling myself up and facing all of the challenges is far more important. 

I’m sharing this out loud because it took all of us together! The vulnerable stories I’ve shared, to the ones that have been inboxed, the love, the shares, the likes on my post, the input negative and positive. It all got me here. 

Thank you. 

I met my first year income goal. 

Published by

Ashli

Saint Louis based artist.

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